


Winter Wonderland

by CongressIsAliens



Series: A Perryshmirtz Christmas 2020 [3]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Art, Christmas Fluff, Fanart, Fluff, Hot Chocolate, Human Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb), Ice Skating, M/M, Perryshmirtz Secret Santa 2020, Sappy, Secret Identity, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, a little tiny bit of angst tried to sneak in but I beat it back with a large stick, art included
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:34:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28199232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CongressIsAliens/pseuds/CongressIsAliens
Summary: Sometimes, Doofenshmirtz’s face blindness is annoying. Sometimes it’s a blessing.Today,somehow, it manages to be both.
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
Series: A Perryshmirtz Christmas 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2028919
Comments: 21
Kudos: 109
Collections: Perryshmirtz Secret Santa 2020





	Winter Wonderland

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ColorPaletteBlind](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorPaletteBlind/gifts).



> Happy holidays, Wyrm! I got 3 of the 4 in there xD
> 
> Enjoy the fluffiest fluff I've written in a while!

Ah, late December. The first snowfall of the year, accompanied by bright lights everywhere and the merry sounds of Christmas music.

Perry smiles as he gets ready for his day. What a wonderful time to be in Danville. Australia is nice, but being in Danville with his friends and family is better.

Even if it _does_ have to be so stupid cold. Perry pulls out his warmest sweater, a bulky and soft garment nearly the same shade as his hair.

He picks up his glasses off the little table by his bed and puts them on. Hopefully (although there’s really not a high likelihood of it happening), he gets a day off today, and he can keep his glasses on. Contacts are useful, but he really prefers to wear his glasses. They’re much more comfortable. Even if Candace says he looks like Harry Potter.

Of course, it’s likely that he’ll have to go in to work, and he’ll have to switch to contacts to avoid the inevitable breakage of his glasses in a fight. And since he’s blinder than a bat without them, that option really isn't palatable. 

Briefly, he wonders if Heinz would recognize him with his glasses, or if it would be like a real-life Clark Kent scenario. That would certainly be amusing. He attempts to tame his hair before giving up, and heads downstairs.

“Good morning, uncle Perry,” Phineas says as Perry puts the kettle on for tea. “Got any plans for today?”

Perry shrugs. No more than usual- have some tea, go thwart Doof, do paperwork, come back in time for dinner. Another day in the life.

“Well, you’ve _got_ to do something special at some point. It’s the first day of winter break, why not have fun with us?”

_You guys know I have work._

“Oh, yeah,” Phineas says, slumping nearly imperceptibly, “you do. Well, maybe we can do something later. Guess what we’re going to do today?”

Perry smiles, ruffling Ferb’s hair as his nephew puts his own mug next to Perry’s. _Baking cookies?_

“Not quite,” Phineas says.

_Biggest snowman ever?_

“Getting closer…”

_Oh, I know. You’re going to make summer in the snow._

“No,” Phineas hums, “although that _is_ a good idea. No, we’re going to build the best ice skating rink ever!”

 _That sounds fun,_ Perry signs with a smile.

“Oh yeah, it’s gonna be a lot of fun.” Perry takes the kettle off the stove and pours the tea for himself and Ferb, adding a spoonful of sugar to Ferb’s mug. “We even met a cool inventor at Blueprint Heaven who’s gonna help us! He said he was gonna build an -inator to help us out!”

Perry nearly chokes on his tea. There's only one scientist in the Tri-State Area that calls his inventions _-_ inators. _Do you know him?_ He asks.

“Yeah, he’s Vanessa’s dad,” Phineas says. “Vanessa’s going to come over too, I think.”

Oh boy. The boys and Heinz working together? Either they’re really going to build the best ice rink in the history of ice rinks, or everything is going to explode in a _big_ way.

Hmm. With the frankly mind-boggling luck of Phineas and Ferb, hopefully the outcome is the former. 

His watch goes off with a beep. _Have fun today,_ he signs to the boys, _and try not to wake your sister up too early, okay?_

Phineas grins. “Okay. Bye, uncle Perry,” he says. Ferb waves goodbye, and Perry grabs his scarf and gloves (both orange), leaving out the front door.

He ducks into one of the many secret entrances around the Flynn-Fletcher house, sliding into his lair with a whoosh.

“Good morning, Agent P,” Major Monogram says, also bundled up in a sweater and scarf, his breath visible. The budget cuts must also be affecting headquarters too. “It seems like Doofenshmirtz is going to be helping out your nephews today. Your job is to keep him from doing evil, but also to keep your cover up.”

Perry gulps. This is...going to be quite the balancing act. After the mess that the second dimension was, he doesn’t want to go through having Doof and the kids working on the same thing.

But today, it’s unfortunately inevitable.

“Good luck, Agent P,” the Major says, and the screen blinks off.

Perry sighs. He’ll need it.

How is he even going to do this?

Hmm. If he pretends to be just “Uncle Perry”, maybe he’ll be able to steer Heinz away from evil under the guise of being a tad overprotective.

Yeah, that could work. Since Heinz can never recognize Perry without his hat, he won’t be blowing his cover. And Phineas and Ferb will be _delighted_ to have a day with uncle Perry.

Candace can even take some time off from busting her brothers, since she seems to be okay when Perry sticks around.

Perfect. Perry steps back into the tube, taking his fedora off on the way back up to the house.

Back in the kitchen of the Flynn-Fletcher house, Phineas and Ferb are poring over a blueprint. Perry churrs, and they look up.

 _I’ve got the day off,_ he signs as an explanation, garnering broad smiles. _What’s the plan?_

* * *

Half an hour later, Perry is helping the Fireside Girls build up the walls of the ice rink.

Or at least, _part_ of the ice rink. There’s several parts, all interconnected. A skate-park area somewhat like their hockey Z-9 rink, a figure-skating area with jets of air to assist with jumps, even a curling rink. All spread out over most of Danville Park.

Thankfully, the part Perry’s working on (the normal-rink part) is close to where Phineas, Ferb, and Heinz are geeking out over their self-resurfacing ice formula.

Perry watches them for a moment, a little spark of pride in his chest.

His nephews and his nemesis make a strange grouping, but they seem to be working together quite well.

Heinz isn’t wearing his usual lab coat, likely because it’s so cold outside. He’s also wearing an adorable purple beanie, and he brought along black skates with purple laces. He leans over, gesturing at some sort of beaker and Bunsen burner setup, and Perry watches for another moment before he turns back to work on the rink.

Really, if he weren’t in love with Heinz already, seeing him working with his nephews and being so incredible to a pair of boys he only vaguely knows (second dimension mishaps notwithstanding) might do the trick.

If he were the type to sigh over guys, he would be sighing over Heinz right now.

But he isn’t.

“Have you met our uncle Perry yet?” Phineas asks Heinz, his voice carrying through the mostly-empty park. (That boy has a hard time understanding “indoor voice” on the best of days. He’s quite the counterpart to Ferb’s relative silence.)

“I don’t think so, no,” Heinz says. “Where is he?”

“Helping the Fireside Girls build. He’s really strong.”

Heinz pauses for a bit. “Is he, now?”

“Yeah, he can carry me _and_ Ferb at the same time!”

It’s true. Before Candace got taller than him (which really isn’t _fair_ ) he could carry all three of them.

“What did you say his name was, again?”

“Perry!”

“Huh. I know a guy named Perry who’s pretty strong, too. Where’s your uncle Perry?”

“Right over there,” Phineas says. “Hi, Uncle Perry!”

Perry turns around and waves with a little smile.

Heinz does a visible double take. “Is _every_ teal-haired guy named Perry?”

Phineas shrugs. “In a perfect world, yes.”

“Huh. Well, I think we’ve got the formula perfected, so are we ready to fill the rink?”

Phineas looks to Ferb, who nods. “Hey Isabella, are you guys done with the rink?” he calls out.

“We’re all done!” Isabella says, and Perry nods. All he's got left to do are set up the fairy lights that will go around the railing, and that isn't exactly a priority. 

“Then let’s get started,” Heinz says.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Perry finishes lacing up the orange laces of his skates and steps out onto the ice. The kids are all out on the ice already, and some of Danville’s citizens have started to trickle into the park. 

Perry takes a few passes around the rink, smiling as he gains speed, letting the wind whip through his hair and toss around the ends of his scarf. It’s been a while since he’s been ice skating, but it’s rather like riding a bike, in the way that it comes back to him easily.

Heinz, unfortunately, doesn’t seem to have the same luck. Every time Perry sees him, he’s either falling over or picking himself up.

Perry watches for a few moments, feeling a little pang of something in his chest. Oh, what the hell. Perry skates over to him, slowing to a stop right by him.

 _Need a hand?_ Perry asks, smiling as he watches Heinz struggle to get up.

“No, I think I- okay, fine.” Heinz takes Perry’s outstretched hand and pulls himself up. “Thanks.”

 _No problem._ Perry watches as Heinz makes a second attempt at skating, this time nearly falling face-first into the ice. It’s only Perry’s agent reflexes that keep him from falling.

 _You want some help?_ Perry asks once Heinz is vertical and somewhat stable again.

“Uh, um, sure? I- I haven’t been skating since I was a kid,” Heinz says with a little nervous laugh. “Now there’s a backstory, although I don’t think you want to hear _that._ ”

Perry does his best to smile kindly. _It’s okay, I’d like to hear it._

“Are you sure?”

 _Why not? I was wanting to get to know you better anyway._ That part isn’t even a lie. Sure, he considers Heinz a friend off the clock, but it’s a bit hard to have a friendship with the cloud of _nemeses_ hanging over that. 

“Okay,” Heinz says, a hint of a smile flitting onto his face. “See, when I was a young boy back in Gimmelshtump...”

* * *

It’s been nearly two hours since the boys finished their ice rink, and Perry has been talking with Heinz for almost the entire time. They’ve skated around and around, with Heinz falling over less and less often. Often, all it takes is Perry’s steady hand to keep him upright.

Perry even got to show off in the area with all the air jets for jumps. There’s no way that he’s as good of a figure skater as, well, anybody who actually _tries_ to figure skate, but Heinz was still impressed, and that’s what matters.

Their conversation has had as many twists and turns as a figure skating routine as well. From Heinz’s backstory came a discussion on cheeses (Candace often jokes that Perry doesn’t have a sweet tooth, but that he has a _cheese_ tooth), then talking about their kids when Vanessa shows up.

They’ve finally wound their way back to their personal lives, as they take a break to watch the kids do all sorts of stunts in the ice skate park.

“So what do you do for a living, Perry?” Heinz asks.

And here it is. The question he was sort of hoping wouldn’t come up. Ah well, he’s got a cover for a reason.

 _I do a lot of paperwork for the government,_ he signs. At least that’s true. If one can consider the UN (the provider of OWCA’s funds and oversight) a government.

“Any specifics there?” Heinz asks.

 _Can’t say much of anything, unfortunately. I’ve signed so many NDA’s that I’m not even sure I legally exist._ Another half truth. There are a _lot_ of non-disclosure agreements involved when one joins OWCA.

Heinz laughs, a bright joyful sound that Perry really wishes he could hear more often. “I don’t know,” he says, reaching out and laying a hand on Perry’s arm, “you seem pretty real to me.”

Perry shrugs. _Anyway, I do paperwork, what do you do?_

“I’m an, um, independent inventor,” Heinz says. “Although you probably know that already.”

 _What sort of things do you make?_ Perry asks, despite knowing the answer to that question already.

“I, well, I’m an evil scientist. But don’t worry!” he says, waving his arms emphatically, “I’m taking the day off today. I’m not going to be evil to a bunch of _kids_.”

 _That’s good,_ Perry signs. _I might have to “thwart” you otherwise._

“Yeah, good thing,” Heinz laughs. “You know, you _really_ remind me of my nemesis. Except you’re obviously not him.”

Oh come on. How did he not get that _massive_ hint? The only thing that would make it more obvious is if he pulled out his fedora and put it on. And he's not about to do that in front of the kids.

Perry still laughs lightly anyways. If his nemesis is oblivious, it’s easier on him. Less worrying about his cover, more fun with the kids.

More getting to know Heinz outside of work.

Perry pushes his glasses up on his nose from where they've slid down. _You’ve got a nemesis?_

“Oh yeah. He looks a lot like you, actually, except he doesn’t wear glasses.”

 _I had no idea being a nemesis was even a career,_ Perry signs, doing his absolute best to keep a straight face. _Are they secret agents, or..?_

“Yeah, they’re all secret agents, part of this secret agency called _OWCA_. No idea what the acronym stands for, it’s really not a _cool_ acronym.”

 _It certainly isn’t,_ Perry agrees. _Although the coolness of being a secret agent probably negates the uncoolness of the acronym._

“You’re probably right,” Heinz says. "Can you imagine though, having to say 'I work for OWCA' and being laughed at?"

Perry snickers. Oh, he doesn't even have to imagine. OWCA is a powerful force (when they have the budget), but they aren't quite as well known as national organizations like the FBI. Which makes some things...strange. 

But it makes it easier to fly under the radar. And that's always nice. 

_Well, they don't get to choose their agency name,_ Perry signs. _So I suppose it probably isn't too bad._

Heinz smiles. "You're very insightful, Perry," he says. "I, uh, I like that."

* * *

About an hour later, they’ve gone back to skating. For perhaps the three thousandth time, Heinz falls down, right onto the ice. Perry giggles, and Heinz’s eyes snap up.

Every time Perry signs something, every time he smiles, every time he laughs, Heinz can barely believe his luck. Here’s someone that’s heard his backstory, who hasn’t immediately punched him in the face afterwards. (Not like it’s Perry the Platypus’s fault for doing that. Heinz is usually being evil, and evil must be thwarted. But it’s still nice to go unpunched.)

Even better, whenever he says something stupid or falls over, Perry isn’t mean about it. He merely offers Heinz his hand and a smile.

Like now. Heinz does his best to stand up, but he falls over again.

Perry’s shoulders shake still, and he signs _You’re hopeless._ But his eyes smile behind those adorable wire-framed glasses, and Heinz knows Perry means well.

He finally manages to pull himself up, with the help of Perry’s outstretched hand. His face flushes up again for perhaps the millionth time today.

When, exactly, is it too early to fall for someone?

He’s known this Perry for only a few hours. But he’s already feeling a bit lightheaded with the way Perry looks at him. All the smiles and soft glances make him feel like his heart has melted in the best way possible.

Of course, there’s also the fact that _this_ Perry is almost exactly identical to Perry the Platypus. He almost feels like the slow burning attraction to his nemesis has fueled today’s fall. Heinz feels a little guilty for completely forgetting about Perry the Platypus.

Although...what if this Perry _is_ Perry the Platypus?

Heinz nearly laughs aloud at the very thought. That’s impossible. Perry the Platypus would have thwarted him when he helped those two boys. And he’s already heard all the backstories before, so there’s no reason he would want to hear them again.

And perhaps most importantly, Perry the Platypus doesn’t wear glasses.

 _Here_ , Perry signs, _take my hand, it might help,_ and Heinz does. Despite the fact that he’s wearing mittens and Perry is wearing gloves, he swears he can still feel an almost imperceptible squeeze of Perry’s hand in his.

Oh, a few hours _absolutely_ too early to fall for someone. But right now, Heinz couldn’t care less. He’s definitely fallen head over heels for this Perry.

Besides, Perry the Platypus had his chance.

* * *

“Huh,” Candace says, looking out over the top of their snow fort and tugging her hat down a little farther on her head. “Uncle Perry never _said_ he was dating anyone.”

Vanessa’s eyes snap up from the pile of snowballs by her feet.

“That’s your dad, right?” Candace says, gesturing to where her dad and Perry the Platypus (sans fedora) are holding hands and skating together.

Vanessa nods. “Yeah, but I don’t think they’re dating.” There’s no way they _actually_ finally got their acts together, right? Especially since her dad _really_ can’t recognize Perry without his hat. 

“Really? It sure looks like there’s something there...”

Vanessa laughs. Oh, if only Candace had any idea. They’ve been dancing around each other for what seems like for _ever_. “They’re probably both too afraid to make the first move, if I had to put a name to that.”

“Oh," Candace says, "like how me and Jeremy were.”

“Yeah,” Vanessa says, having absolutely no clue what Candace is talking about, “just like that.”

She looks back down at the pile of snowballs, and at the fort Candace has constructed. “Now come on,” she says, picking up one of the slightly lopsided spheres, “we’ve got a snowball fight to win.”

* * *

Large fluffy flakes of snow start to descend on Danville. The wind picks up as well, turning outside into a rather miserable place to be.

Thankfully, Phineas and Ferb have built up a little cafe beside the rink. Inside the cafe, Perry watches with a smile as Heinz puts way more whipped cream than any sane human should on his hot chocolate.

 _You want some hot chocolate with that whipped cream?_ Perry jokes, and Heinz sticks his tongue out at him.

“Did I tell you about how I was raised by ocelots yet?” Heinz asks as they sit down on a sofa by the fireplace. He’s been telling his backstories all afternoon, some Perry has heard already and some he hasn’t.

Perry nearly nods, before realizing that this version of him has only just met Heinz. So he shakes his head, gesturing for Heinz to tell his story.

He launches into the story with full gusto, waving the hand that isn’t holding his cocoa in grand gestures.

All in all, it’s the same story Perry’s heard before, although Heinz is a little more hesitant to share the more personal details.

Perry doesn’t blame him. After all, the only reason he’s opening up to Heinz as much as he is is because he already knows him.

At one point, Heinz trails off mid-sentence. He’s been going off on a tangent about his time as a lawn gnome, which is definitely somewhat of a sensitive topic. Even the agent side of Perry hasn’t heard all the details.

So when Heinz goes quiet, Perry lays one hand over his, in as comforting a way as possible.

Heinz doesn’t shy away from the touch, thankfully. Butterflies take flight in Perry’s chest, but he does his best to keep his face from flushing up to the point where it’s noticeable.

Except there’s one thing vaguely eating at him.

 _How are your hands so cold?_ He asks, setting his hot cocoa on an end table so he can sign. When Heinz cocks his head in questioning, he elaborates. _Seriously, you’re holding cocoa, how?_

“Oh, they’re titanium.”

 _Both of them?_ Perry’s eyebrows go up in surprise. He knew about _one_ of them being a titanium prosthetic, but both of them?

He must have missed a _lot_ when he tuned Heinz out in the desert last summer.

“Yeah, I lost the right one when I was nine, and the left when I was maybe...twenty? I don’t know, don’t really think about it much.”

A conniving smirk spreads across Heinz’s face, and Perry’s stomach drops. Is he really going to be scheming now?

“I have cold hands, huh?” he asks as he sets his hot cocoa aside, a hint of an evil laugh in his voice. “You know the best way to warm them up?”

Perry nods, but before he can sign anything, Heinz leans over and presses his hands to Perry’s cheeks.

He jumps back, laughing as Heinz leans over even more to put his _very cold_ hands on Perry’s neck.

 _Okay, okay, your hands are very cold,_ Perry signs, only half heartedly fighting off Heinz’s touch.

Heinz leans back, picking up his cocoa again. “So yeah, my arms are titanium. I could _probably_ patent them and make a killing, but why would I do that? They’re also _custom-made_ , so I don’t know how much that would help anyone _else_.” He brightens. “But it’s always fun to pull pranks on people who don’t know they’re prosthetics.”

Perry laughs. _I suppose the phrase “give me a hand” has a different meaning to you?_

“It does, yeah. Vanessa- you know, my _daughter-_ only said that once before she wised up.”

The conversation lulls comfortably there. Perry picks up his hot cocoa again and scoots in a little closer to Heinz. The fire in front of them is popping and crackling, blending into the background noise of the cafe.

Heinz yawns, reaching one arm out and wrapping it around Perry’s shoulders. It’s not subtle at all, but it still makes his chest flutter like he’s an awkward teenager again.

So he leans in closer, resting his cheek against Heinz’s sweater and listening to his heartbeat. 

They stay like this for a while, enjoying the fire and the cocoa and the presence of each other.

It’s been a while since Perry’s been able to just take some time to cuddle with someone, he almost forgot how nice it feels. It’s made all the more better by the fact that this is the man he’s had a crush on for multiple years.

Even if he’s somewhat deceiving Heinz in this pseudo-relationship.

Well, _technically_ he hasn’t lied to Heinz at all today. Not one bit. He’s only just told half-truths.

So he cuddles up a little closer to Heinz and listens to him ramble. It’s comforting, listening to him talk about whatever happens to float through his mind. And this time, he doesn’t have to get up and _fight_ him.

The sky outside the window slowly becomes a darker and darker gray. Eventually, the lights in Danville Park flicker on, and the chatter in the cafe starts to peter out. They’ve long since finished their cocoa, and now their mugs sit on the end table, empty.

“Well, that snow is only going to get worse,” Heinz murmurs into Perry’s hair as they watch the fire die. “I should probably get going.”

Perry nods with a hum. _That’s right, you have to go across town._

Neither of them really want to break the spell and get up, but they must. Heinz stands up, offering his hand to Perry.

A direct opposite to earlier, Perry vaguely recalls. They make their way to the door, where their winter wear hangs.

Heinz pauses as he pulls on his jacket. “This was really fun, we should- we could meet up again sometime if you want?”

Perry smiles. _That sounds wonderful._

Heinz pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and scribbles something on it, then hands it to Perry. “Here, call me. Or, well, um. Text me. You know, cause you can’t…” He trails off, looking away and twisting his fingers together awkwardly.

Perry smiles, the little scrap of paper now in his pocket practically doubling the flutter in his stomach.

 _It’s okay, I know what you mean,_ he signs. And for good measure, he rises up and presses a little kiss to Heinz’s cheek.

Heinz goes adorably red, stumbling over his words. What a rare occasion, for Heinz to be at a loss for words.

Perry intends to see that happen as often as possible. Especially since Heinz is absolutely _adorable_ when he blushes.

It’s a shame that he has no idea they’re _nemeses_ , but they’ll cross that bridge when they come to it.

 _I’ll text you later?_ He signs, and Heinz smiles, nodding emphatically.

“Yeah, that- that sounds great.” Hein pulls on his hat and mittens. “Um, I’ll see you later, then?”

Perry grins. _I’ll see you later._

Heinz leaves the little cafe, a gust of cold air replacing him before the door shuts.

Perry waves goodbye through the window, then sighs and leans back against the door once Heinz is out of sight.

Oh, he’s so screwed. If Heinz finds out about his cover, if his superiors find out that he’s dating his _nemesis…_

But right now, with Heinz’s number in his pocket and a warm feeling in his chest, he really doesn’t care.

* * *

And some bonus art! 

**Author's Note:**

> The only reason this took me so long to write is because I had to go keep screaming into a pillow at the fluffiness. AAAAHHHHH. 
> 
> Comments and kudos always appreciated!


End file.
